The Silent Scars: Big T and Little t Trauma
We've all heard about those earth-shattering moments that change lives in an instant. The car crashes, the natural disasters, the violent attacks - these are the Big T Traumas that make headlines and leave visible scars. They affect our brain and affect our behaviour in a major way. But what about the quieter wounds? The ones that accumulate day by day, invisible to the outside world but oh-so-real to those who carry them?
The Whisper of Little t Trauma
Imagine this: You're excited about a new idea at work. You gather your courage, speak up in a meeting, and... your boss cuts you off mid-sentence with a dismissive wave. Or picture a child, proudly showing a drawing to a distracted parent who barely glances up from their phone. These moments might seem small, but they leave marks on our souls.
Little t trauma isn't about life-or-death situations. It's about those everyday hurts when we're misunderstood, shut down, or made to feel like we don't matter. It's the friend who always talks over you, the partner who rolls their eyes at your concerns, the family member who dismisses your accomplishments. Over time, these experiences add up, creating a weight that's just as real as any physical burden.
The Echoes of Invalidation
Here's the kicker: whether we're talking Big T or little t, the most damaging part of trauma often isn't the event itself. It's what happens next. When we experience something painful and find support, understanding, and validation, our minds have a chance to process and heal. We can integrate the experience and move forward.
But when we're left alone with our pain? When we're told to "get over it" or that we're being "too sensitive"? That's when trauma really sinks its claws in. We start to doubt ourselves, to question our own perceptions and feelings. We learn to stay quiet, to make ourselves smaller, to stop reaching out.
Breaking the Silence
So what do we do? We start by acknowledging that all pain is valid. We recognise that those everyday hurts, those moments of being dismissed or misunderstood, can leave lasting impacts.
The echoes of little t trauma can reverberate through our lives in ways we might not even realize. It's like a quiet, persistent drip that slowly erodes the foundation of our emotional well-being. Let's dive deeper into the lasting impacts of these everyday hurts:
The Ripple Effect of Invalidation
Imagine a pebble dropped in a pond. The ripples spread outward, touching everything in their path. That's what chronic invalidation does to our psyche. When we're constantly told our feelings don't matter or that we're "too sensitive," it doesn't just sting in the moment - it reshapes how we see ourselves and the world around us.
Over time, we might start to doubt our own perceptions, questioning whether our emotions are even valid. This self-doubt can seep into every aspect of our lives, affecting our relationships, our work, and our ability to trust our own judgment.
The Invisible Weight
Little t traumas accumulate, piling up like grains of sand until suddenly, we're carrying a desert on our shoulders. This weight can manifest in surprising ways:
Emotional Rollercoasters: We might find ourselves swinging between numbness and intense emotions, never quite sure where we'll land
The Mask We Wear: To protect ourselves, we might start hiding our true feelings, even from those closest to us
Body and Mind in Turmoil: The stress of carrying these unacknowledged hurts can lead to physical health problems and mental health challenges like anxiety and depression
The Crazy-Making Cycle
Here's where it gets really tricky. Because little t traumas often seem "minor" on the surface, we (and others) might dismiss their impact. But this dismissal is just another form of invalidation, adding to the original hurt. It's a cycle that can leave us feeling confused, alone, and wondering if we're the ones who are "crazy" for feeling the way we do.
Breaking the Silence, Healing the Hurt
The good news? Recognising the impact of little t trauma is the first step towards healing. By acknowledging these everyday hurts, we can start to unravel their power over us. It's about reclaiming our right to feel, to hurt, and to heal on our own terms.
If you've found yourself nodding along, feeling seen in these words, know that you're not alone. Your experiences matter, your feelings are valid, and there is a path forward.
Heal from the Impacts of trauma
It's time to reclaim your emotional truth and step into a life where your feelings are honoured - by yourself and others. Start your journey towards emotional freedom and resilience.
