The Mascot/Placater - Unmasking a Survival Strategy
Have you ever found yourself constantly trying to make everything okay, even when it's not your responsibility? Let me share a personal story that might sound familiar.
Recently, I attended a birthday party where I ran into my ex-wife—the same one who left me years ago. When our eyes met, my instinctive response was to mouth "you ok?" And in that moment, I realized something profound about myself.
I'm Vicki-ann, and I'm what you might call a Family Mascot or Placater.
What's a Family Mascot/Placater?
On the surface, we're the fun-loving, always-smiling members of the family. We're the ones who:
Use humor to deflect tension
Are always "on"
Will do anything to keep people interested
Fear being boring or alone more than anything else
But here's the raw truth: Our cheerfulness is a survival mechanism, not genuine joy.
The Hidden Truth Behind the Smile
Our core belief is terrifyingly simple: "If I'm cute and entertaining enough, I'll be safe." We've learned to:
Use humor as a shield
Attract attention at any cost
Hide deep feelings of fear and insecurity
Sound familiar? It's not just about being the life of the party—it's about emotional survival.
Want to Dive Deeper?
This blog post barely scratches the surface of understanding Family Roles. My book goes into much greater depth, offering:
Comprehensive insights into family dynamics
Strategies for personal growth
Detailed exploration of survival mechanisms
Surviving Their Struggles, Reclaiming My Life from Trauma is your roadmap to understanding these complex emotional patterns.
A Challenge for You
Next time you catch yourself defaulting to "cute" or using humour to avoid real feelings, pause. Channel your inner "Ernesto"—someone who:
Accepts mistakes
Takes responsibility
Connects authentically
Have a story to share? Drop a comment below!
You’re Not Alone
Remember, these patterns aren't a life sentence. You can learn to:
Recognize your survival strategies
Choose more empowering responses
Meet your own needs
Want the full story? Surviving Their Struggles, Reclaiming My Life from Trauma is waiting to guide you.